All posts by Ashley

Life at the Circus

“If we only live once, then let it be a daring adventure that draws on all our powers. Let it be similar types of who’s hearts and heads we may be proud of. Let our grandchildren delight to find the start of our stories in their ears but the endings all around their wandering eyes.” ~ Julia Assange

Hula hoopin'-rock climbing adventure duo.
Hula hoopin’-rock climbing adventure duo in places I don’t know.

I want to travel the world, try a multitude of different activities, and experience spiritual uplifting from all directions.

I want my spirit to stay free. And my mind to be both stimulated and silenced- and I want that to happen simultaneously at some point too.

I want to dream, and grow, and laugh, and love. I want to feel mud between my toes, rain on my skin, and wind in my hair.

I want to stumble so I can learn. I want imperfection so that I can see. And I want to let the current take me where it will, so that I can be the best I can be.

So maybe I’ll work at the circus, or perhaps for a sales promotion team. And when the summer warms up, I’ll remind children of the power of imagination through outdoor exploration.

Or maybe I’ll just hang out on cliff sides with friends for a while.

I’ll go for a swim in the ocean, float down a river, read a variety of books, and climb a mountain. Because there are valuable lessons in each of those endeavours too.

Biking Fernie- First ride of the season, third in total, on Dem Bones (definitely over my head ha!)
Biking Fernie- First ride of the season, third in total, on Dem Bones (definitely over my head ha!)

Perhaps I’ll actually do all of that;
so that people can balk and tell me I should get job, consider my finances, and to prepare for the future.

They’ll tell me this as I obtain an income from multiple sources- the variety collaborating in a valuable way.

And they’ll tell me this while I am networking with the thousands of people I am encountering throughout my adventures. They’ll try to remind me to save for school, and consider my direction- all while I continue to make absolute progress on a day by day basis.

You see, I am simply investing in my future here- developing as a human being in a materialistic world- with a focus on happiness, love, and gratitude.

Because that’s the kind of life I want to lead; one where opportunities are infinite and exploration is constant.

I am not lost. Not wandering.

I am moving forward; dreaming, exploring, discovering.
Loving, laughing, and above all, taking the time to appreciate what is.

The cottage is back in gear and running like a charm!
The cottage is back in gear and running like a charm!

New Age vs. Christianity

***Previous to this, I was skimming bible passages on the internet- because I find them interesting and inspiring- and came across a Christian view on New Age that just had me baffled. It made me sound like a Satanist and a girl of all evil. Writings of these sorts is not how we create unity amongst people. Rather, it has the tendency to do quite the opposite. And as a girl brought up in a Christian world, I have my doubts that segregation is the intention of such a faith.

The mushroom that you see here, is actually only a TINY portion of it’s entirety. This very mushroom could potentially extend it’s hyphae, a root like system,  for multiple kilometres. The visible part is just the fruit of a much greater system- a system that connect all other surrounding forest life.

 I’ll start by saying that, I grew up attending a Catholic school, and Bible Camp was some of the best summers of my life. I still sing, “We’re Children of the Light”, and I believe it.

My parents go to church on Sundays, and they are sure to tell me all about the latest lesson their pastor taught them (they no longer attend a Catholic Parish). Most of all, I respect and absolutely love all of my Christian friends and family.

Alas, I cannot be Christian.

I cannot be Christian because I cannot believe that any one religion is any more right than another. I believe this because humans have existed longer than the World has been socially connected; and some non-Christians, have done some wonderful things for this world.

Malala Yousafzai? That 15-year old Islamic girl who stood up for women’s rights, despite all the social pressures of her culture? Her religion is quite different from most North American Christian beliefs, but you know what? That girl took a bullet to stand up for other women. She sacrificed her life for the lives of multiple other women. Malala provided hope in a time of need; she changed the world by having her people treated with respect, love, and courtesy.

Girls like Malala are born to show us that sometimes, religion has faults we neglect to see, for whatever reason that may be.  There are tens of thousands of different Christian views, how can one possibly be “the perfect one”?

Nature-Wildflowers-l

Now for the real reason for this blog…

I have a problem when Christians condemn other belief systems- namely, the New Age Movement.  Especially so when they condemn it under circumstances they do not understand.

For starters, I will say that most of us “New Age” followers (I hate that term) believe in only one God; therefore, in no way do we deny the Word of God, and the teachings that “we should believe in only one God.”

It just so happens that some of us believe differently from you…
(And even if we did believe in “multiple gods”, it is likely not really much different than believing in the Holy Trinity.)

To clarify the issue, I’ll speak as close to your language as I possibly can: Most of us believe that the Holy Spirit can be manifested in a multitude of ways. That, my fellow Christians, means that God shows himself in you, and me, and your dog. God is part of the forests, and the wolves; essentially, God is a part of all living beings.

So you see, it is a simple a matter of formality; in stead of speaking to Jesus, we speak to the Earth. But both serve as a representation of God Himself.

A painter creates a masterpiece that holds secrets only the painter could possibly know; he pours a little bit of himself into every bit of that artwork. So sometimes, you can know the painter by learning to understand his artwork.

I guess that’s how I see the Earth in light of God; the more I experience His creations one on one (i.e. through nature), the more light of God I can accept and illuminate back onto the world.

Further, we all know the game “telephone”, and how the passing of stories can ruin them. Most of us have also learned how punctuation can change everything. It all leads me to question what the church (in a formal sense), and the bible, tell me. I find it all so confusing!

Instead, I study the artwork of God, and I share a spiritual relationship through the things that provide me with a feeling of connection with the Divine. Does that make me a Satanist?

I can’t change your beliefs or outlooks on the world, nor do I aim to. I believe we each have a purpose on this Earth, and that there is a reason why so many different belief systems exist.

Rather, I hope that this blog can allow you to see that Spiritualism is a way of life. And that sometimes, things aren’t always the way we perceive them at first sight. Even an Atheist believes what he believes for a sense of his Spirit (or however they prefer to talk about it), and that is okay too. An Atheist, like a Christian or a New Age follower, has just as much of a lesson to teach us as the latter.

It’s a matter of difference, and I think learning to understand these differences can help to develop a stronger sense of unity amongst all people. Which, there really hasn’t been a more crucial time than now to smooth these kinks out and further develop the sense of we that exists in all of us.

We will always have people with different belief systems; it is up to us to open our eyes in hopes of better understanding one another. If we can’t understand, then perhaps we can at least learn to accept one another for who we are.

Trust, Love, and Honesty is what we need. Rivalry and condemnation is not.

Over Consumption

If you rinse it out, a single ziploc bag can be used a hundred times.
If you freeze your food, it doesn’t expire (any time soon).
Old t-shirts make good pillow cases.
Ripped jeans are great for crafting, fixing, and tying  things together.
A new cell phone or a trip across the world, it’s up to you.

But in most circumstances, we don’t do this.
Because throwing it away is easier,
and getting something new is nicer.

You see,
we are over-consumers, with a severe lack of respect for the things that provide us with the lives we live:

food to fill our bellies,
clean air to breathe,
the water we drink,
cotton for our clothing,
oil for our vehicles;

Need I go on? …

The very basic necessities for our survival, are direct gifts from the Earth.

Yet we throw them away like they’ll replenish themselves at our demand; like it is a hundred times harder to walk over and press the button on the tv, compared to the energy it takes for fresh berries to blossom in the Spring.

So we turn the lights on, because we lack the patience to wait for our eyes to adjust, and we put new batteries in the remote. Then we throw the whole container of berries away, because one single berry was molding.

Yet, it was those very berries that provided us with the energy to do anything in the first place. But it doesn’t matter, because they are just berries, and we need to be on time for the next fake scene plastered in front of us.

Nature lives for the sake of the Earth, and not for the sake of humans. 

If you argue in terms of God, then you are naive;
I don’t think God intended us to abuse His gifts, at our pleasure.

If you are Atheist, then you are no more innocent;
the very roots of your existence is in the Earth you abuse.

Afterall, we didn’t just sprout up here; we either come from God(s) that gift us the world we live in. Or we didn’t, and our roots lie in the very Earth we are mass consuming.

Respect the Earth. Without it, we are nothing.

If it’s broken, fix it.
If it’s not,  use it until it is.
If it’s stained, cover it up.
If it’s moldy, cut it off.
If it’s expired, use it fast.
And when it’s no longer useful,

Make art!

 

Asparagus

Joffre
The Joffre Group: Matier peak on the left and Joffre on the right (British Columbia)

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…” — Dr. Seuss

So another story about being poor, and the things it’s teaching me.

First off, I should let you know that this most definitely is not the first time I have been in this boat; I mean, the first time I flew across the country, I did so with an hour to pack my bags, barely making my flight (which was on a one way ticket), and $800 in my bank.  I’d never been to where I was going, and I had  no idea what on earth my crazy mind got me into.

While my family and friends were off discussing the fact that I was running away- because I didn’t want to deal with what I’d been dealt-I think I was actually out doing the exact opposite.

Even if I had no idea what I was doing, I was headed somewhere, figuring something out.

Sure, I had given up hope; I had given up hope that the world would ever make sense. Or that my life would be settle and smooth, and that the vibrant pictures I’d always dreamed of, would ever become real.

In other words, I’d come to terms with reality.

Cheshire catTruth is, life is crazyand always will be. That’s just the way it is.

Rather than “running away”, I had learned to trust my intuition; and I allowed it to take  precedence in my life. In fact, let’s clarify; I was never running away at all. Rather, I had made myself present to the brief moment of calm that I had been presented with, and, I ran with that.

Becoming aware of the power in the unknown has lead me to some pretty awesome places.

Suddenly, nothing is really scary any more. Sure, my heart still skips a beat from time to time, and my mind questions my sanity. But, the more I trust myself, and the more I trust the natural flow of life, the better things seem to work out.

Some asparagus for you
Some asparagus for you

What does this have to do with being poor again?
(And why the asparagus?)

Because the only reason I am in the pickle that I am is because I got trapped up in mind chatter. I’ve been stuck in a place where wildberries are everywhere and mushrooms grow year round. Somewhere that being poor is easy, accepted, and a preferred way of life- so long as it provides the freedom we seek of course. Physically speaking though, I am quite far from this place.

But then I realized how low the cash funds truly were and I became open to the idea that, although there may not be endless lush wild berries around here, Mother Earth is a provider. It is up to me to change my tactics; I must remember to  take the flow of life that is presented before me rather than the one that my mind has created.

Where I used to gather fresh lunch from the rainforest in my backyard, I guess I’ll have to gather from the prairie lands instead. Essentially, I have decided to take another stepping stone to learn about the world I inhabit and what it has to offer me.

Which, considering Earth is the provider of all life, it is endless of the things I will find…But that, that is another story.

In this epiphany, I have discovered that asparagus here, is like the West Coast mushroom hunting. Although, I believe it is significantly less common, and people probably think I am crazy because no one really does it at all. But oh well, what can you do right?

Stoked to see what’s out there!

Finding work

Summer; where student loans leave me hanging and my current job barely covers my monthly dog expenses, never mind my own.  I tend to frantically send out resumes in hopes of scraping by. And every year, I seem to have very little return.

Sometimes I wonder why that happens. Then I was answering an e-mail that I received today, and it dawned on me that, maybe I face these issues because I am homeless:

Have you looked into housing in the area yet?”

Umm, no? I have a perfectly good house here in Lethbridge, why on Earth would I look for a house on the coast? That’s too much hassle, I’ll just live in my van. Or if that doesn’t start up by the end of the week, I’ll camp out on the beach. And really, I know people everywhere- or at least know someone who knows someone- that I’m not overly concerned with my living situation.

Tell me, how is this any different from your bedroom? You should see the views I get from my living room!
Tell me, how is this any different from your bedroom? And man, you should see the views I get from the living room!

But is that really a reasonable answer to tell an employer you’ve never met? Someone you’ve never had an interview with? From a place you’ve never been?

Instead, I am often forced to come up with some fancy way of saying that, “my living circumstances will be satisfied.” More so, I change my phrase depending on the type of job I am applying for and, based on our three sentences of communication, the kind of person I am dealing with.

I think these replies have a tendency to portray a flaky, uncommitted individual. I mean, if I read such an answer (if I wasn’t me of course), I’d question who this person was. Are they legitimate? Are they real? Is this a scam?

My professional-paper-self becomes so questionable when I reside nowhere and work everywhere, no matter how I phrase that I am a homeless wanderer.

Basically, I can’t have a job without a residence; but I can’t have a residence without a job. How does that even make sense?

I have to lie about where I live so I can have car insurance. But I usually have to live somewhere different to have a job. And then I try to fall into a contemporary lifestyle and go to school, but I need to live where I was born so that I can get access to student loans. My paper-life is a big lie!

I pulled up on the beach one day. And then I slept there three (my dog loves it as much as I do!)
I pulled up on the beach one day. And then I slept there for three… (my dog loves it as much as I do!)

In real life though, I help people who need it. I volunteer when I can and I work hard when I need to. But I don’t always put it on paper. Nor can I recall every person I’ve interacted with, so I rarely have new references to vouch for what I am saying.

My preferred spot to wake up is on the ocean, and I take that million dollar view when I can. Sometimes I’ll settle for driving at night and pulling over in the pitch black so that I can wake up to a surprise surrounding, because that’s pretty cool too.  But I am not often grounded to one place, so I am flaky.

I like to go rock climbing, spontaneously decide to climb a mountain (and sometimes get reported as a missing person because of it. Sorry Mom!) Suddenly I wake up and I am a student again.

But then I decide to drive to Nevada to jump out of an aeroplane, and fly to Ontario to hang out with my niece. Oh, there she goes again! Somewhere here, somewhere there. Doing this, but doing that. She’s not settled enough to bother employing.

Studying Wilderness Leadership at Capilano University- one of the best choices I have ever made, and these people are all awesome : )
Studying Wilderness Leadership at Capilano University- one of the best choices I have ever made, and these people are all awesome : )

There are a handful of us out there. Most of you will never hire us; because well, we are flaky, unsettled, and nothing about our lives really makes sense.

But you know, we’ll probably actually be your best employees. Working hard is something we are used to; because even though it may not seem like it, it’s hard work to make a life without a job or a home.

We don’t have time to learn people, they filtrate through our lives too quickly. So we’ve become proficient at reading them rather accurately, quite instantly. And because we are constantly being tossed about to new places, learning in general becomes an integral part of who we are.

You see, we can be a people person if you need us to. Yet we are quite content in solo situations if that’s what you prefer as well. We have no problem getting dirty or breaking a sweat, but we can be quite presentable and can clean up nicely in a moments notice too.

So long as we can roam to meet new people, try new things, and grow as individuals, we’re pretty content. 

We like to go with the flow. So when you screw up the schedule, we probably won’t get mad. Or when you forgot to order a certain part that the last person needed to finish the job, we can probably make something up with what we have. And when you need that person to do an odd job in a moments notice, it’ll probably be us who replies.

Really, we are just practical people in an impractical world. But because home is a state of being and not a physical place, we aren’t really the employable type.

Sometimes we're concerned about the view or where we are headed, when there is something majestic in a simple walk through woods in our backyard. We just need to learn to open our eyes to see the beauty.
Sometimes we’re concerned about the view or where we are headed, when there is something majestic in a simple walk through woods of our own backyard. We must learn to open our eyes if we want to see the beauty.