A Romantic Date with My Self

I lit a candle- in a tin can candle holder- and made dinner for one in a vacant parking lot. Little did I know of the romantic date ahead.With the trunk propped open, the crash-pad couch leaning against the back of the van, boy, we had a cozy little mountain home. The breeze blew a winter-like air, causing autumn leaves to rain down around us. Freedom ran- sniffing, playing, and jumping around- as I watched the moon rise over the horizon ahead.Oh how she’s coming close to full!, with an extra special glow, I silently thought to myself. It brought excitement to my bones.

Music from the nightstand table encouraged me to sing along, eventually the rhythmn causing me to stand up for a dance with my best friend. I giggled, and she moved her butt in that silly way she does. We were happy on the hill, by ourselves, in some random empty parking lot.

As my pasta came to a boil, I returned to the “couch”. How convenient it is to relax and cook simultaneously! I mixed the sauce with the noodles, and ate straight from the pot, with the same fork I use to comb my hair. My dog nestled in next to me while I ate and wrote and read; while I watched the stars turn above my head.

Freedom interrupted the peace, bursting like lightning from the couch. I think she found a grizzly bear. Or are there cougars here? I don’t know. I stood up with my knife in hand. And that was my ‘aha’ moment. For the first time ever, it dawned on me what might be “interesting” about my life.
Don’t you see!? My life isn’t interesting because I chase grizzly bears away before bed. Nor is it that my rusty-old-van miraculously still runs. Contrary to popular belief, I am no anomaly here. My life is interesting because I CAN have a date with myself- and I honestly feel it romantic in some way.            [ I fall in love, with the moon, with the Autumn breeze, and every ounce of freedom I’ve got. Time, is a human thing- and I am the Universe- I choose when it applies to me. I forgive myself when I forget to Love my Self, and similarly for when I lose track of who I Am. I have Patience to learn, patience to forget and renew. I have Trust in the Unknown. I am imperfecta whirling pile of chaos that is Me, You, and everything that ever existed. I know this, and I believe it too. ]

How can you not consider this a romantic match made in heaven?

It is funny though, because you have it within you, too.
I’m not sure why you watch my life the way you do.
I’m not sure why you look at my life
with such intensity, curiosity, wonder.
We are the same, we are One.

Maybe living in a van, is a bit much of a jump. A romantic date with yourself takes practice, and trust is the biggest leap of faith you will ever take. Sometimes having nothing is everything, and sometimes it’s simply pure stupidity. In the end, I feel it comes down to being honest with wherever you’re at- your fears, your passions, and whatever is carrying forward or holding you back. It takes acceptance of failure and the willingness to accept the unexpected.

We are all healing, we are all on the path to bettering ourselves- to bettering all of humanity. We are all perfectly imperfect. We are all love. And we all, are so much more than what our earthly bodies show. Remembering that,- as often as possible, because we all forget sometimes- makes life interesting. It makes a romantic night to yourself, beautiful.